Knowing what Christianity looks like is different from knowing the God at the center of the faith.

Growing up, Kelly Stiles lived between two very different worlds. During the summers she spent with her dad, she knew how to look the part—carrying her Bible, going to church and camp, and doing what she thought a Christian should do. But the rest of the year, Kelly was living a very different life. By her late teens, she had begun what she describes as a 20-year season in the wilderness, carrying anger toward God and largely living on her own terms.

Then, during a painful divorce, everything came crashing down—and Kelly knew she was scared to live her life without God.

At first, she returned to Him with what she calls a “white-knuckled faith,” afraid of God's judgment and overwhelmed by the things she had done wrong. But as she continued to pursue Him, Kelly began discovering who God really is. She encountered His grace, patience, kindness, protection and love. The God she once feared became the God in whom she could rest.

As Kelly studied Scripture and learned more about God's character, He also began reshaping some of the distorted ideas she had carried about Him since childhood.

Today, Kelly jokes that she still struggles with FOMO—fear of missing out. But now it has a deeper meaning. She doesn't want to miss anything God has for her, and she doesn't want anyone else to miss the life, grace and relationship found in knowing Him.

In this episode of the Faith Conversations Podcast, Kelly shares her journey from knowing what Christianity looked like to discovering the God at the center of the faith—and why she believes even our doubt, anger and questions can be brought honestly to Him.

Key Takeaway

Knowing what Christianity looks like is different from knowing the God at the center of the faith. As Kelly discovered who God really is—His grace, character, love, and faithfulness—her fear gave way to rest, and now she doesn't want anyone to miss the relationship and life found in knowing Him.

Related Bible Verses

Psalm 34:8 (NASB) - "Taste and see that the LORD is good."
Matthew 11:28-29 (NASB) - "Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Exodus 34:6 (NASB) - "Compassionate and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in faithfulness and truth."
Psalm 139:11-12 (NASB) - "Even the darkness is not dark to You."
Jeremiah 29:13 (NASB) - "You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart."

Listener Resources & Next Steps

New to the Bible? Read the Gospel of John.

Do you want a relationship with God too?

If you have never made the choice to accept Jesus' offer – a gift, not by works – to be restored to the original design for your life, which is a relationship with God, now is the time. There is an article in Jessica's Engage Faith Column that will help you understand who He is, who you are, what choice you have, and what happens when you make the decision.

Visit What Is the Message of the Gospel? to read the message of God's good news for mankind and to find a sample prayer that you can pray today.

The importance of a Biblical faith community:

All listeners are encouraged to engage in a local church community to learn more about Jesus, the Bible, and to experience God through community. Listeners from the Northern Virginia area are welcomed at Burke Community Church. We are not designed to be alone; we're designed for a community of faith.

To stay connected:

Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook @faithconversationspodcast and sign up for Jessica's Engage Faith communications for updates and inspiration.